Once again I kind of feel like slapping my head against the hardest surface imaginable because I can't comprehend how you're missing my whole fucking point.

I'm a dick, sure. However, as someone oh so eloquently tried to put it, I'm a douchebag with a heart of gold. Yeah sure, my words are kind of harsh but I usually mean well. I kind of actually care about people, believe it or not. That means all the difference, Eridan. You cry and cry about wanting friends and not being alone - and don't say you're okay with being alone because you're really not - but how can anyone stand to be around someone that thinks they're better than them? People can tolerate someone who's a asshat, but is looking out for them more than someone who believes they're above them.

And why do I care how you treat people? Hmmm! It's a mystery, Eridan. Could it be that oh my fucking god, I actually want what's best for you!? Inconceivable!