thevveribest | ♒ 3rd Video;

[As the feed clicks on, it first fills with the scenery of Goldenrod, Eridan having chose to head there after the little Poke`Prom and all, but soon none other than the douche prince extraordinaire is taking up the feed.]

So I was thinkin' to myself, has anyone ewer considered huntin' these guys?

[A beat.]

The Poke`beasts I mean. They are beasts after all, and I ain't meanin' this non-wiolent catchin' bullshit. I mean, huntin' an' killin' 'em. A course, I'we fought more fearsome creatures back on Alternia, but ewen then they seem like some could be a real challenge to take down. Regardless a bein' frightfully inferior to Alternian subterranean fauna, but ewen if it doesn't equally compare, the challenge is the sport of it.

[Yep, Eridan is 100% serious.]

A course, from the looks a it eweryone is stuck on the notion a trainin' 'em and makin' 'em fight each other, an' that's sorta got its appeal, I mean, if you're a fuckin' grub an' such. I think poachin' 'em could prowe far more interestin' than this load a poppycock with the badges an' all. Just sayin'.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's pretty much my oldest friend, of everyone here.

[ Also he's a lot nicer to her than he is to you, duh. ]

Yeah! I'd feel better if she were travelling with a partner again, too. She's a really sweet girl.

And Jake is basically John's ectodad? He's really nice and you were training him for...something, I'm not totally sure what.

And if you don't pick a birthday, I won't give you a present, and I happen to have a shiny Corsola, which means I could breed a variety of shiny water types.

[ Why yes that is blatant bribery, just complete her goshdarned calendar. ]

You usually make the worse decisions the younger you are, it's alright. Eweryone makes mistakes.

[Eridan doesn't care, he still thinks Sollux is trash.][THE FLATEST OF LOOKS, ARADIA.]</small. I cannot BELIEWE you are tryin' to bribe me into pickin' a human birthday.

It's not a mistake!

[ THE BIGGEST OF SMILES, ERIDAN. ]

So you don't want a shiny water type? Then I guess it's okay if you don't pick a human birthday! Too bad, because I think some of them are purple when they're special like that.

[ Y E P Too bad you're being stubborn, right? ]

[yeah he's ignoring that first part. CAN'T CARE ABOUT SOLLUX THE BOOK THE MOVIE THE MUSICAL]

... You're the fuckin' worst you know that?

[A considerate pause....]

FINE. But it ain't like I really know this dumb human calendar any!

[ BUT THE BOOK WAS A BESTSELLER!! ]

I think you mean the best!

[ Aradia doesn't even pretend to be the least bit shamefaced or put out. Bribery is a legitimate tactic and it worked! ]

Well!! There are twelve months - this is April! - and a varying amount of days in each month. Don't you ever check your gear calendar? Anyway, if you want to pick something based in your sign, that's...already past, January 20th to February 18th. You disappeared before it happened, you know!

No I didn't.

[Aradia you are awful and you should feel awful.]

I don't care to look a calendar that means absolutely NOTHIN' to me. But hmm...

[He thinks for a few moments...]

I suppose January 20th would be best, seein' as that is the startin' date a my sign, or whatewer.

It's okay, I know what you meant!

[ She's teasing now, on purpose. It's fun to needle people sometimes! ]

January 20th it is, then! I am adding you to my calendar. Did you want the list of other people's birthdays?

[ who is she kidding of course he doesn't but she may as well ask. ]

You're supposed to celebrate people's wriggling days a lot more here than we ever did back home. It's rather fun!

[A flat stare. That look should say enough of what he thinks of her needling.]

I don't giwe a shit about anyone's human birthdays.

[A beat.]

Well, I guess you can tell me yours an' Kar's, but I don't giwe a shit about anyone else.

But why celebrate? That seems so weird.

[ Flat stare does 0 damage to Aradia! ...She gets a lot of those from other travel partners as is.

And she's clearly amused - or happy? - that he asked for any of them. ]

Karkat's is on the 21st or the 22nd of September; whichever day the equiunox falls on. And mine is March 25th! I thought that seemed nice.

And I think they just have a more celebratory culture! They have heaps of holidays, I still haven't even heard of them all. And, you know, their culture just requires and allows more general excitement and friendliness without violence, which is interesting if strange! I enjoy it, really. Parties have a lot of fun activities, although the Christmas ones involve a strange amount of dead plants.

Oh, and if you go to a party with Mom Lalonde, I advise you to avoid any punch you can't verify as being punch!

[ Because reasons. ]

[Dang Aradia, lower your defenses some so his stares can affect you!]

Is March 25th durin' your sign's perigee?

How... weird. I don't get the point a all that fake-ass friendliness. Like, what's the point of it?

...Dead plants? And punch?

[it's like she's trying to tell him things...]

[ That would require her to actually be bothered about the stares. Luckily, she's not! ]

Yeah, it is! That's why I picked it. Jake helped out!

And I don't think it's fake. At least, if I didn't want to be nice to someone, I wouldn't be. [ She just...generally tries to be nice because she wants to be. Hard to believe, right? ] If someone's doing it to be fake, that's their problem, not mine!

Yeah, there's a tree that you cut down and take inside and put presents under, and another one that's a wreath that you hang on doors and then another one they put in doorways that you have to kiss under if you get caught. There are a lot of dead plants involved in Christmas! It's very quaint.

And Mom spiked the punch! I believe that's how they put it. She put human soporifics in it.

[ Welcome to small talk 101, Eridan. ]

Any particular reason for the 25th?

[Not that he's interested or anything!]

Just seems like it would be, I mean, I know you're nice, and that's weird in itself... But to think so many of a race want to be genuinely nice and soft-skinned like that. Just seems fuckin' outlandish.

... They put gifts under a tree. Kiss under another plant, and just use one for decoration... Alright... So, I guess Christmas is kinda like 12th Perigee's Ewe or somethin'? Just, more dead plants and fuckin' strange.

[Ok, yeah he definitely will take this advice.]

Consider your adwice noted, then.

[SMALL TALK IS WEIRD, WHERE'S THE INSULTS??? THE BANTER??? THE DEATH THREATS?????]

Edited 2013-04-24 09:48 (UTC)

I just liked that number, really. So, whimsy?

Well, humans, particularly humans in this world, seem to have a wholly different cultural viewpoint than we did! It's nice, I think. I haven't met too many people who aren't!

Yes! It's sort of like that, and that's what I thought the equivalent was. I never celebrated it with anyone but my lusus, though, so it was...different. [ Exciting. ]

I like it here, rather.

I am well aware and disgusted by their cultural wiew point. I don't think it's nice at all... Well, I guess, except in the literal sense.

... Kinda glad I missed it, to be honest. I don't care about human festiwities in the slightest. Tell me it ain't anytime soon.

If I'm to be honest, I miss Alternia, but I know how pointless it is to miss home when it's nothin' but a dead planet now.

It's not like people being nice will kill you, Eridan!

Christmas? It's eight months off from now, I think. So not very soon, no!

It will never be entirely dead! Not so long as parts of it survive.

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