thevveribest | ♒ 3rd Video;

[As the feed clicks on, it first fills with the scenery of Goldenrod, Eridan having chose to head there after the little Poke`Prom and all, but soon none other than the douche prince extraordinaire is taking up the feed.]

So I was thinkin' to myself, has anyone ewer considered huntin' these guys?

[A beat.]

The Poke`beasts I mean. They are beasts after all, and I ain't meanin' this non-wiolent catchin' bullshit. I mean, huntin' an' killin' 'em. A course, I'we fought more fearsome creatures back on Alternia, but ewen then they seem like some could be a real challenge to take down. Regardless a bein' frightfully inferior to Alternian subterranean fauna, but ewen if it doesn't equally compare, the challenge is the sport of it.

[Yep, Eridan is 100% serious.]

A course, from the looks a it eweryone is stuck on the notion a trainin' 'em and makin' 'em fight each other, an' that's sorta got its appeal, I mean, if you're a fuckin' grub an' such. I think poachin' 'em could prowe far more interestin' than this load a poppycock with the badges an' all. Just sayin'.

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[Oh, hey. It's that one royal troll guy from before who thought he and Mario were kisme...somethings. Whatever. Anyway, see one very bulky guy with very sharp teeth. At Eridan's query, he bursts into a bellowing guffaw.]

Are you kidding?! Why would I wanna waste a potential minion? These things become powerhouses, perfect for stomping the goody two shoes chumps that litter this place!

I once used 'em to terrorize a city. That's the real fun in training them!

[Well this Eridan has no idea of such shameless shipping... But if he did, he'd more than likely agree.]

Well, I suppose lookin' at them as minions certainly is a more sensible approach to all a this.

[He gives Bowser a curious look.]

Terrorizin' a city? Do tell.

Of course it is! I'm all about sensibility. You can't be an evil king without it.

[...Except he's totally not sensible and is mostly just trying to sound awesome. Oh, Bowser.

The talk of city destruction makes his grin broaden, though, and he lets out a chuckle.]

As for the city... I sent an army of misfits out on a rampage! They sabotaged buildings, beat citizens into the dirt, used their awesome power to strike terror into the hearts of those good-hearted morons! And this was all on a day dedicated to love.

[He'll just leave out the details about how his minions got their asses kicked.]

And here I thought this place was filled with nothin' but spineless good-for-nothin's! But a King huh? Seems there's a awful lot of royalty here, but you're the first to seem to hawe similar ideals to me.

[Eridan can relate to just trying to sound awesome, really. He does it often enough himself.]

That's especially sinister. Gotta say I approwe. Hmm, maybe I'll reconsider my stance on this for now, I mean if they are so willin' to do biddin' a that caliber, they aren't completely useless.

[Eridan can't help that he's a rotten apple, he was just hatched this way.]

Anyway, what's you're name? I'm Eridan Ampora, Prince a Hope.

Edited 2013-04-16 18:03 (UTC)

That's because this place is stuffed with a bunch of soft, spineless saps! How the heck are you supposed to run a kingdom if all you do is act kind and bake cakes and throw parties? A real ruler knows when to stomp and smash lazy minions into shape. And here people start whining if you don't act all buddy buddy with your Pokémon! Graaah...

[Neve rmind the fact that he, y'know. Has the hots for Peach, but hey. That doesn't mean he's gotta agree with her attitude.]

Anyway, you're talking to the great King Bowser, lord of the Koopas! I'd list my credentials, but then we'd be here for hours. Gwahahahaha!

[Oh yeah. His ego's kinda enormous. Sorry 'bout that, Eridan.]

You're definitely speakin' my language. These soft-skinned joke of a sentient race is about killin' me with all their talk a bein' nice and friendly-like. It's really aggrawatin' bein' surrounded by such absolute fuckin' cowards.

[He hears ya bro, he def has the hots for a princess whose ideals are far removed from his own.]

Bowser, eh? Interestin' name. And I'm a bit foreign, so I can't say I really know what a Koopa is. But I can tell already you're far more respectable than most, I'm confident in thinkin' I'm in good company.

[It's quite alright, birds of a feather and all that.]

Edited 2013-04-24 09:59 (UTC)

I could tell ya what a Koopa is, but why bother when I can show ya? I managed to save some footage from a while back, when the stupid magic turning us all human changed everyone back.

[In fact, he'll slip on a little attachment.]

And of course you're in good company! You're talking to the cream of the crop when it comes to awesome villains. I've been terrorizing the Mushroom Kingdom for eons now!

[Or well, a long time. But eons sounds more impressive.]

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