thevveribest | ♒ 4th Video

[The feed turns on to none other than Eridan, and from the looks of the surrounding area, he's outside of town. He looks indignantly at the camera, before rolling his eyes and looking at something off screen.]

I'm sure the lot a you hawe missed my face ewer so much, an' I can't blame you, so here, hawe a completely uncalled for and exorbitant treat on my most generous behalf.

[Yeah he's going to allow you all a few seconds to just take in the beauty that is himself... before glancing back to the camera a moment later.]

But, to the matter at hand, I didn't just make this post to spoil you underserwin' lot, after all. To state it plainly, I'm bored outta my fuckin' pan, and so I'we decided I'll try this retarded, let alone, WORTHLESS trial a badges, an' as such I got a few questions for those with the complete facilities to answer 'em.

So respond to this immediately, I ain't gonna ask 'em forthright and hawe a bunch a sniwelin' idiots tryin' to tell me a bunch a misinformation and thus I make some mistakes due to whatewer unintelligible babble is slung my way. I'll be determinin' if you're worth askin' or not wia how you approach me.

[A beat.]

So come on, I ain't got all bloody day, hop to it.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, least you got a good sense of humor about it.

Oh, I'd definitely prefer we not get into anything serious! I'm mostly teasing. [ "Mostly". It's not clear how much that covers, actually. Although really, even if explosions are cool she'd be sort of obligated to be involved if Sollux or Kanaya got into something and she doesn't actually want to be so. ]

But you really should at least get one or two pokemon to cover the type differences, you know? That's my main point.

[You drink your grass water, he'll drink his dirt water. Who cares bro.]

Hey who says I'm not helping you for more reasons than that? Why should I have a reason. We went over this remember. Like last time I went and commented to you. If you don't want help I'll pick my knightly ass up and go back to trashing John at smash brothers. Not that it's hard to do, he sucks at it.

I don't ewen know what that is, so I don't care how shitty he is at it.

[A beat.]

But, if you're REALLY offerin' to giwe me some adwice, which I'll preface this with sayin' I'm gonna fact check the shit outta whatewer you tell me, then alright. Sit your knightly ass right back down where it is.

So I guess I'll start this out with somethin' pretty simple: is there anything specific I should watch out for with any of these gym leaders? Like some bullshit attacks or mowes or anythin' a the sort that I can possibly build strategies around? Or are they just powerhouses with no sense of stratagems or clewer tactics?

It must be nice living in your own ignorant little mind.

People like you are the reason that "ignorance is bliss" exists.

What sense a humor? I'we just heard it all before. You landfuckers ain't got no respect for a perfectly respectable seadweller accent is all.

An' in what way would my knowledge of the names of these planets actually benefit me at all? Other than in the prewious bit of our conwersatio? Would my knowledge a these worthless balls of collectiwe elements hawe helped us in our time of need in the weil? Would it hawe been the key to stoppin' Jack, or keep me from losin' my shit like I did? Would it hawe stopped Kan from sawin' my own personal torso in two?

The answer is fuckin' no. So I fail to see how this equates to me derserwin' this sorta shit talkin' from you, when the signifigance of these balls in space is so lackin', that they basically owe me for ewen sayin' this much about them in general conwersation.

You just sincerely don't get it and that's what makes it pretty damn sad. It's not the lack of knowledge or anything, Eridan. You don't even believe there's an issue when all evidence points otherwise.

Maybe it wouldn't have changed things, no. It's hard to say what would have been different if you weren't such a self absorbed asshole with needy cries of attention. But that's not really the point. The point is you don't really know what shit would be like if you'd just suck it up and maybe think that maybe the problem isn't everyone around you, but how you present yourself. You have nothing to lose for trying something different, you know?

But hey, I'm just some random asshole who used to be your friend. Not even I could get a serious response out of you even when shit was hitting the whirling device.

Can you say "jerk" with a capital J?

Oh. You know what letter jerk starts with? Fan-fuckin'-tastic, except for the part where that isn't what this is about. So, do you have something useful to add, or are you just joinin' the rest in bein' absolutely fuckin' useless?

I am a fountain of information. All you have to do is ask nicely.

[He leaned in towards his screen, eyes narrowing.]

No. You're being very rude and someone has to speak up or you'll think that that's okay. It's not. Sorry, but you'll just have to put up with people telling you you're behaving badly.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff to build around when it comes to gym leaders. Think of them as testing you and your team. If you can't stand up to their tactics and teams, you need to put more polish and honing into what you're doing or go back to the basics.

You can hit them in any order, but classically if you're in Johto, Falkner is first. Pretty awesome dude with a traditional sense to him. Favors birds.

Big thing to watch out for is every gym leader is tight with their teams and experience to back them. You're just some newbie challenger to their seen it all eyes. Don't use your team like they're throwaways, for one that's a crock of shit, and two it's way more effective to have a team that can endure anything thrown at it. Thirdly, they're your bros, pokemon are like dudes who will back you no matter what.

Specialize if you want, you can still win but you got to apply tactics to do it.

I asked as nicely as a dirtcrawler like you deserwes.

Used to be?

[Yep. That's what he honed in on.]

I don't like people who are rude to my kouhai, you know.

[ ...THREATENING AURA? who knew. ]

And I giwe a fin flippin' fuck, why?

Because you should stop doing it, Eri-chan~!

How about I do whatewer the fuck I want? That sounds far more appealin'.

But that won't do at all! I'd have to come and find you, and that sounds annoying!

Ha, find me and do what exactly? I'we faced more fearsome grubs than you.

If that's what you want to think, I don't mind. [ Still not sugary sweet, although there are probably still metaphorical flowers in his speech. ]

I don't know, I guess it depends on if Kao-chan's upset or not. I suppose here a pokemon battle is best, but I'd really prefer hand-to-hand combat, honestly.

[R U D E.]

No, actually. Just to you, apparently.

Senpai is a martial arts master! It's probably not a good idea to get him angry.

Not that it should matter because I'm not really going to waste my time here on some commoner that thinks they're better than everyone else. I have better things to do with my time.

Thank you for proving my point.

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