thevveribest | ♒ 4th Video

[The feed turns on to none other than Eridan, and from the looks of the surrounding area, he's outside of town. He looks indignantly at the camera, before rolling his eyes and looking at something off screen.]

I'm sure the lot a you hawe missed my face ewer so much, an' I can't blame you, so here, hawe a completely uncalled for and exorbitant treat on my most generous behalf.

[Yeah he's going to allow you all a few seconds to just take in the beauty that is himself... before glancing back to the camera a moment later.]

But, to the matter at hand, I didn't just make this post to spoil you underserwin' lot, after all. To state it plainly, I'm bored outta my fuckin' pan, and so I'we decided I'll try this retarded, let alone, WORTHLESS trial a badges, an' as such I got a few questions for those with the complete facilities to answer 'em.

So respond to this immediately, I ain't gonna ask 'em forthright and hawe a bunch a sniwelin' idiots tryin' to tell me a bunch a misinformation and thus I make some mistakes due to whatewer unintelligible babble is slung my way. I'll be determinin' if you're worth askin' or not wia how you approach me.

[A beat.]

So come on, I ain't got all bloody day, hop to it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Used to be?

[Yep. That's what he honed in on.]

Thank you for proving my point.

Look, I just don't get what any of this has to do with planets alright? You're out in your own little fictional world right now, spewin' nonsense at me like I'm supposed to make some connection that's less existent than magic itself, so what is the fuckin' point in all this?

Just tryin' to find an excuse to grill me? Hawe I done somethin' to piss you off or ewen elicit such abuse, recently? Like, what the fuck crawled up your nook and died, Kar, seriously.

It has fuck all to do with the planets. That wasn't even the damn point! You've missed it entirely. It's so far out there that no amount of wandering paradox space will help you attain it.

Let the record show that you asked first, dipshit.

Kar considerin' this all spawned from you gettin' after me for not knowin' the names a some planets, it is hardly MY fault that you'wwe weered this off course and made it a bit difficult to see what the fuck you were bloody aimin' for in all this mess of a exchange.

So then, what? Are you just tryin' to lay into me about shit in general then? I can't change the past, and I'we done my time bein' dead, I'we fuckin' thought about shit, alright? I'we thought about a lot of shit, and if you'we fuckin' noticed, I hawen't ewen been NEARLY as bellicose as I could be with Sol or Kan. I hawen't ewen sought them out at all, and I'm actually not tryin' to be as much of a dick as I feel I'we the right to be.

BUT APPARENTLY that ain't enough? You still gotta say some shit like I hawen't already fuckin' thought about it? I'we been alone for a few fuckin' perigees now, Kar, I'we had nothin' to do BUT think. Now I'm done, and so I'm gonna actually do shit, so unless you'we got some adwice for what I'm settin' out to do, then don't fuckin' talk to me right fuckin' now.

Get the fuck over yourself Eridan. I know that's a high horse to fall off of, a tall order if you will, but seriously. You want a gold star by your name? An award for "not being as much of a jerk as I've could've been?" That's not how shit works. If I broke it off with my own moirail because the asshat was far too pious and self absorbed, do you really think I'm going to let up on you? Ha! Good one. Real knee slapper there.

Do I let up on anyone for that matter? I'm not treating you like some special snowflake, Eridan Ampora, and I'm not about to start. Maybe I shouldn't have fired off, but I did in classic style and with the usual lack of finesse.

All I'm sayin' is you're not helpin' anythin', and if you think you are, then you're more fuckin' delusional than ol' Pinkscarf Fakemage is! And no, I don't want any star, all I'm sayin' is you're bitchin' at me about shit I can't do anythin' the fuck about. Because the fuckin' past is the goddamn past. Let it lie, Kar, fuckin' fuck man.

What the fuck do you WANT me to do about it? Growel, say I'm sorry, beg for forgiweness? Fuck that, I know I screwed up, EWERYONE FUCKIN' KNOWS IT, but I'm not about to sacrifice my own dignity so that you can feel better about what happened. I died Kar, that was a big enough shot to the ego. But of course, Karkat I-Newer-Make-A-Mistake Wantas has to breathe down my fuckin' neck like a goddamn PRICK for not gettin' on my knees and suckin' his fuckin' bulge in some bloody apologetic manner, so I deserwe to be hoisted into the fuckin' inferno.

Edited 2013-07-04 04:43 (UTC)

All I'd like to see is maybe not treating people like their just shit for you to avoid or like their akin to dirt under your nails. That's all, barnacle breath. That's what I'm bitching to you about. I don't care what you did three years ago. What I give two heaping helpings of steaming shit about is what you continue to do.

You're also out of your flipping pan if you think that I don't know I've fucked up. I've fucked up more than all of you combined. Seriously... People might as well point to me walking down the street going "there is that Vantas kid - you know, the one that got all of his friends killed."

Not once have I ever acted like I've never made a mistake in regards to, well, anything. Making mistakes is pretty much all I am goddamn capable of.

Well then good, because I'm quite frankly ower that whole mess myself. But if you're lookin' to shoulder some of the blame of what happened, far be it for me to stop you.

I don't understand why you care so fuckin' much about how I treat people. It ain't like you know these people, or that you're particularly nice to anyone either. You're kind of bein' a huge fuckin' hypocrite Kar. Sure, I may be actin' superior, but how you act ain't any better. We're trolls, not these soft skinned dirtscrappers, and if they can't handle how I act, they'we got it within themselwes to awoid me, or say what they feel they need to say without you policin' my actions.

Once again I kind of feel like slapping my head against the hardest surface imaginable because I can't comprehend how you're missing my whole fucking point.

I'm a dick, sure. However, as someone oh so eloquently tried to put it, I'm a douchebag with a heart of gold. Yeah sure, my words are kind of harsh but I usually mean well. I kind of actually care about people, believe it or not. That means all the difference, Eridan. You cry and cry about wanting friends and not being alone - and don't say you're okay with being alone because you're really not - but how can anyone stand to be around someone that thinks they're better than them? People can tolerate someone who's a asshat, but is looking out for them more than someone who believes they're above them.

And why do I care how you treat people? Hmmm! It's a mystery, Eridan. Could it be that oh my fucking god, I actually want what's best for you!? Inconceivable!

Oh please! Just because your fuckin' pumpbiscuit makes you pity ewery fuckin' thing that has the gall to suck in some air, doesn't make you any better than me for bein' a asshole. That is like, THE shittest bit of reasonin' I'we ewer fuckin' heard. If anythin', I'm better because I'm at least fuckin' honest! Where as you're such a bloody coward you hide behind fake as fuck barbs that are entirely needless.

And if you CARED so much about what's best for me, then maybe you should be a pal and I dunno, hang out with me sometime, instead a bein' half a fuckin' world away.

[So sue him, he's lonely..]

♒ 4th Video

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