thevveribest | ♒ 3rd Video;

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♒ 3rd Video;

[As the feed clicks on, it first fills with the scenery of Goldenrod, Eridan having chose to head there after the little Poke`Prom and all, but soon none other than the douche prince extraordinaire is taking up the feed.]

So I was thinkin' to myself, has anyone ewer considered huntin' these guys?

[A beat.]

The Poke`beasts I mean. They are beasts after all, and I ain't meanin' this non-wiolent catchin' bullshit. I mean, huntin' an' killin' 'em. A course, I'we fought more fearsome creatures back on Alternia, but ewen then they seem like some could be a real challenge to take down. Regardless a bein' frightfully inferior to Alternian subterranean fauna, but ewen if it doesn't equally compare, the challenge is the sport of it.

[Yep, Eridan is 100% serious.]

A course, from the looks a it eweryone is stuck on the notion a trainin' 'em and makin' 'em fight each other, an' that's sorta got its appeal, I mean, if you're a fuckin' grub an' such. I think poachin' 'em could prowe far more interestin' than this load a poppycock with the badges an' all. Just sayin'.

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It's hilarious to me how you're tryin' to sound like my better, but you just sold yourself on how fuckin' pathetic you truly are. You wouldn't surwiwe a night on my planet. Huntin' a the sort is reserwed for those of royal status, like I am. Not for the lowly slawes that couldn't ewen be worthy enough to clean the scum from my shoes.

Besides, what's a little carnage to add that impressiwe ower all look to you. Ain't nothin' more intimidatin' than some blood soaked hands.

I ain't forgettin' nothin', I'we felled thousands a beasts that would make any one a these crawl back to the shitty crewice it dared to peek its ugly little head out of, so before you go assumin' what I hawe or hawen't considered, you should just shut that worthless noise flap a yours.

Edited 2013-04-13 04:52 (UTC)

[Yep, definitely crazy.]

Mmm-hmm, of course you have. I'm sure a scrawny little thing like you would have no problem slaying all these big bad beasts you keep talking about. Why look, even I'm shaking in my incredibly fashionable boots at your very image!

Although really, that's probably because you need a serious make-over.

The only one who needs a make-ower, is the squeak-beast lookin' witch with a mop on her damn head speakin' to me presently. Seriously, can you look any more ridiculous if you tried? Let alone hideous.

I don't got to prowe shit to you, seein' as you're just some dim-witted hag who wants to beliewe whatewer shrill sound that leawes her squawkblister, effectiwely tunin' out any sound a reason or truth. You're not worth the energy.

Ridiculous, right. Normally an insult like that would upset me, but then I take one look at you, listen to the way you speak for abooooout five seconds or so, and then realize that you're clearly just a poor, pathetic little man who has no idea how anything works.

Maybe if you actually spoke English properly, like a normal person, I'd be able to take you seriously.

Oh shut your bloody trap right the fuck up! My accent hardly means a damn thing, and it's a petty fuckin' jab, but seein' as you're a worthless sad sack a flesh, I'm not surprised. You're just reachin' to try an' offend me. It ain't workin'.

You're too biologically and intellectually inferior to ewer dishevel me any. You wanna talk about who doesn't know how anythin' works? Well, you're the fuckin' Baroness a Brainlessness without ewen a shred a thought in that empty thinkpan a yours. Honestly, do your delusions come with or without the ditzy "I probably would forget to suck air if it weren't for my biological processes doin' it for me" look? Because they go together perfectly.

For someone who claims to be impossible to offend, you certainly defended that little accent of yours quickly. Paranoia, perhaps? Must be, since I was actually talking about those fake words you keep using, not your accent. Queens like myself do have standards, not that you'd know anything about that.

As for delusions, the only delusional one here is you. But hey, if you want end up with a bite out of you go right ahead. Just make sure you get it on video, though, I'd like to see the dumb look on your face.

Hmph! I'we just heard it all before about my accent, so it's pretty easy to think that was what you're meanin', but unlike smart people, you couldn't use your words to be more specific. An' they ain't fake words, they're troll terms.

A queen, eh? Coulda fooled me. I know royalty, bein' such myself, and you just aren't cut out for that sorta position. Unless of course, human rulers are so worthless you're entire use is just to take up space an' be annoyin'.

I'm the harbinger a truth and the destroyers a delusions, it's pretty much wirtually impossible for me to be delusional, what with bein' the Prince a Hope.

[Though to be honest, he is fronting all of this. He's lost his own hope a long time ago when he was murdered, but that's neither here nor there...]

I'll be happy to catch me slaughterin' some beast on wideo for you, so that you can see how much of a numb-sponged idiot you were for doubtin' my impressiwe capabilities.

So it's somehow my fault you assumed I meant something I didn't, even though I spoke clearer than you? Oh my, you certainly are a piece of work, aren't you? Perhaps you should calm down and think about what you're saying, darling, or else you might end up hurting yourself.

[As she says this, the sarcasm in her words is thick enough to choke someone.]

As for your little comment involving my status as royalty, who's wearing the solid gold tiara around here? [She gestures to herself, suddenly looking a lot more smug.] Moi. Even if I don't have my subjects here to worship me, I still have a lot more proof of royalty than you. Unless yours was out for polishing~?

Pffft! You talk like a fuckin' idiot, there ain't no clarity there, just fuckin' idiocy. As I said, it's a common thing, so I made an assumption on your wague wordin', get the fuck ower it.

[He hardly sounds affronted, but the annoyance is a little obvious. God, what an overbearing hag.]

Princes don't wear tiaras, but I got my hands clad in rings, each one worth more than your entire bein'. An' ewen if you are royalty, you're just a fuckin' human. Humans rank far below trolls, the only thing a human queen would be worthy of is cleanin' the scum off of my shoes. So your status still doesn't mean shit. You're hardly abowe any of the other scumsuckers you ain't got the right to rule ower.

Right, sure. Trolls are better than humans, that's why the only existence of trolls is in fairy tales where they're hideous little things that live under bridges and eat goats.

Honestly though, you should be glad you're human right now. I'd bet even as far as trolls go, you would be especially disgusting.

Trolls are better, and we aren't any creatures of myth! We ain't hideous either, I mean I basically look the same, just without my grey skin, horns, fins, an' gills...

[A pause as he thinks about what she said...]

Why bridges?

Also fuck off, I'm far more attractiwe than you could ewer hope to be! Ewen if I got this ugly pink skin that's far more delicate than skin ewer has any right to be.

[She heard of all that, but honestly the most interesting thing to her was the bridge thing. Why WAS it bridges, anyway?]

How should I know why it's bridges? I didn't write the fairy tales.

Well, I ain't got any affinity to no bridges, that's for sure. More so the ocean, seein' as I'm a regal as fuck sea dweller.

Clearly whoewer made up your human lore was retarded. I suggest you forget whatewer poppycock they filled your cultural mythos with about us, because if anythin', we're your gods.

Well bridges cover water, and you apparently live in the sea, so they must have gotten something right.

Also can you stop with the whole "trolls are better than humans" thing, it's getting grading now. Like seriously, have you even ever dealt with us before now?

But bridges don't cower oceans.

No I can't, because facts are facts. And I hawe indeed, in fact all of my encounters with humans hawe only shown me what disrespectful wastes of life they are. You're helpin' support this by the way. You'd think a race would be a lot more thankful to those who helped create their existence, and yet...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up there. What do you mean "helped create their existence"?

[Is this guy nuts? She didn't have to go to class and even SHE knew about the big buck!

...bang. Obviously she knows it's the Big Bang.]

Considerin' we are why you humans exist, wia us playin' SGRUB and it formin' your uniwerse as a byproduct of our wictory. Though, we got denied access to it. We definitely are a huge factor in why you squishy pink things exist.

...

[Blink. Blink. What the hell is this guy on? Seriously, where does she even begin? Barby tries to at least say something but...]

...

[It's no good. How do you even deal with someone like this?

...rudely, of course.]

Okay, after hearing your little story I'm convinced you're completely insane.

[He isn't surprised. Of course a species of questionable sentience is going to be skeptical about the truth of their own creation. This bitch especially.]

I'm not surprised that a feeble-minded hag like you would come to such a retarded conclusion.

I am NOT a hag you scrawny little psychopath!

[She's just about had it with this little shit head.]

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♒ 3rd Video;

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