♒ 3rd Video;

[thevveribest]

[As the feed clicks on, it first fills with the scenery of Goldenrod, Eridan having chose to head there after the little Poke`Prom and all, but soon none other than the douche prince extraordinaire is taking up the feed.]

So I was thinkin' to myself, has anyone ewer considered huntin' these guys?

[A beat.]

The Poke`beasts I mean. They are beasts after all, and I ain't meanin' this non-wiolent catchin' bullshit. I mean, huntin' an' killin' 'em. A course, I'we fought more fearsome creatures back on Alternia, but ewen then they seem like some could be a real challenge to take down. Regardless a bein' frightfully inferior to Alternian subterranean fauna, but ewen if it doesn't equally compare, the challenge is the sport of it.

[Yep, Eridan is 100% serious.]

A course, from the looks a it eweryone is stuck on the notion a trainin' 'em and makin' 'em fight each other, an' that's sorta got its appeal, I mean, if you're a fuckin' grub an' such. I think poachin' 'em could prowe far more interestin' than this load a poppycock with the badges an' all. Just sayin'.

Comments

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

The hell is a Fivel Spawn?

[The Sneasel begins to stir, nose and ears twitching. She yawns and displays her tiny fangs.]

You know, knowing these animals, they probably wear each others' pelts.

[thevveribest]

Fidus Spawn, not Fiwel Spawn.

An' it's a troll game for wigglers. Basically you get these eggs that you put in stuffed animals or other shit, like carcasses, and the egg incubates and ewentually hatches into a creature that burst forth. An' you make these creatures fight each other, they grow stronger with each wictory, the loser dies. It's all fairly simple an' mindnumbin'. So, all a this is fairly similar to it and I just can't giwe a shit.

I wouldn't be surprised. With how wiolent they are themselwes, you'd think more people would be questionin' why no one has taken measures to contain the population of them wia huntin' an' the like. Though, I suppose their own aggressiweness does a fair enough job a that?

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Oh. I guess in my world we just have dogfighting and cockfighting and Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots.

I'm not going to argue with you on that one. It'd be nice to be able to get from city to city without exploding freaking pinecones going off in my face all the time.

[thevveribest]

Dogfightin'? Cockfightin'? Do I ewen wanna know? Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots sounds plain dumb.

And that's somethin' some annual huntin' could really help with. But it seems as if no one else is fuckin' priwy enough to realize that. You're a rare breed.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Cocks like birds. Like roosters and stuff. Not like...ew.

Thanks? I think we'd be more motivated to hunt them if we could eat them, but apparently that doesn't really work out for us. And they don't compete with us for resources.

[The Sneasel wakes up with a yawn and stares at Eridan with disinterest, as if she has no idea what they're talking about.]

[thevveribest]

Ahh. So I guess ain't so different from Fidus Spawn, though selectiwe on the beast type.

You're welcome. It ain't often I compliment a human, so cherish it. Huntin' ain't always about competin' for resources or ewen a means a food, but I guess you're right. I suppose a inferior race would hawe to find some form a justification before they'd want to get their hands dirty.

[He glances to the Sneasel for a moment, before returning his gaze to her owner.]

So, who kind of pokebeast is that, anyway?

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Wait, what do you mean 'compliment a human'? What are you supposed to be?

[Do delusions usually come with weird speech patterns?]

It's a Sneasel. Some gave it to me when I got here. She used to be way bitchier.

[thevveribest]

Pffft, what did you think I was a human? Please, as if I'd ewer be hatched into such a pathetic species. I'm a troll, specifically a seatroll.

[Some humans, man. It's like they don't realize aliens exist or something.]

Guess that's a good thing. I'd hardly want somethin' bein' bitchy at me with those talons.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

What, being a river troll under the bridge got old for you?

[Howard's aliens are usually psychic mold. It's a long story.]

Right? I'm hoping I can train her to make sushi.