♒ 3rd Video;

[thevveribest]

[As the feed clicks on, it first fills with the scenery of Goldenrod, Eridan having chose to head there after the little Poke`Prom and all, but soon none other than the douche prince extraordinaire is taking up the feed.]

So I was thinkin' to myself, has anyone ewer considered huntin' these guys?

[A beat.]

The Poke`beasts I mean. They are beasts after all, and I ain't meanin' this non-wiolent catchin' bullshit. I mean, huntin' an' killin' 'em. A course, I'we fought more fearsome creatures back on Alternia, but ewen then they seem like some could be a real challenge to take down. Regardless a bein' frightfully inferior to Alternian subterranean fauna, but ewen if it doesn't equally compare, the challenge is the sport of it.

[Yep, Eridan is 100% serious.]

A course, from the looks a it eweryone is stuck on the notion a trainin' 'em and makin' 'em fight each other, an' that's sorta got its appeal, I mean, if you're a fuckin' grub an' such. I think poachin' 'em could prowe far more interestin' than this load a poppycock with the badges an' all. Just sayin'.

Comments

[bywiseguidance]

You expect this world to work on logic, when it has none. It is a video game where I am from, and one for young children at that. Of course nothing is going to die.

[That is the very definition of escapism my friend.]

But by all means, feel free to try. Do not expect sympathy when your ambitions come back to bite you. Perhaps literally.

What are you planning to use in this grand hunt of yours anyway, a blunted steak knife? Anything more effective is difficult, if not impossible to come by.

[As someone who normally carries at least two firearms and a knife on her person at most any given time, believe her, she's looked.]

[thevveribest]

Interestin', seein' as I came from the afterlife inside of a wideo game so to speak. I am used to this illogical bullshit, so spare me.

[Rolling his eyes.]

I am well enough capable of takin' on any reprehensible reactions that can come from this, don't treat me as if I will be so surprised when an otherwise wiolent act ends in wiolence. I come from a world built on death and subjugation, I couldn't care less about these fractional consequences that might befall me.

I'll do my own lookin' out for what I may wield to aid me in such tasks. I'we heard that there's a ridiculous lack a weaponry here, but don't think for a moment that will stop me.

[bywiseguidance]

[Oh whatever. She doesn't need to get into a 'this place is stupid and life sucks for just about everyone' argument with a crazy guy right now.]

You have heard correctly. Somehow the knives do not even hold an edge. I do not know what you were before, but as your limitations are very near human now, I would advise you to keep that in mind.

[thevveribest]

[Honestly, people have better luck convincing a wall of their argument, than Eridan. At least a wall is less aggravating.]

How the fuck do you cut anythin'? How utterly fuckin' retarded. The longer I'm here, the more I hawe grown to hate this place. Also, I'm fully aware a the fact I'm human. The lack of horns, grey skin, fins, and gills were quite the goddamn indicator, thanks for remindin' me a my losses, asshole.

[bywiseguidance]

With a great deal of frustration and persistence.

[Oh, Eridan. She's in one of her Moods, strap in.]

You're welcome. Of course, you could think of it as a learning experience, build a bit of character. Being human is not such a curse.

[thevveribest]

This place is shit.

I was bein' facetious with that thanks, by the way. And you're right, it ain't a curse, it's a insult.

[bywiseguidance]

Congratulations on further beating the dead cow, most of us are quite aware of that.

[Dead horse, Ziva. You're getting your hoofed mammals and/or idioms mixed up again.]

Be grateful that this place has not seen fit yet to add injury to that insult. Or do you merely complain all the time? That would seem tiring.

[thevveribest]

[He just rolls her eyes. If he was more familiar with human idioms, he'd probably correct her out of spite. Fortunately for her, he isn't.]

And how would you suppose it'd do that? Also, I complain when it's called for.

[Aka he bitches all the time. Good thing for everyone he's got enough energy for his overwrought bullshit! Where would we be if he stopped being an annoying thorn in everyone's side?]

[bywiseguidance]

[She's used to being corrected. And misunderstood. Whatever, not like she cares.]

Oh, putting your foot down wrong and twisting an ankle, concussions, general illness, those sorts of things.

Or, perhaps, provoking a bear and realizing too late that it was a foolish idea to do so.

[Hint hint.]

Human beings can be rather resilient, but we can also be very fragile.