thevveribest | ♒ 3rd Video;

[As the feed clicks on, it first fills with the scenery of Goldenrod, Eridan having chose to head there after the little Poke`Prom and all, but soon none other than the douche prince extraordinaire is taking up the feed.]

So I was thinkin' to myself, has anyone ewer considered huntin' these guys?

[A beat.]

The Poke`beasts I mean. They are beasts after all, and I ain't meanin' this non-wiolent catchin' bullshit. I mean, huntin' an' killin' 'em. A course, I'we fought more fearsome creatures back on Alternia, but ewen then they seem like some could be a real challenge to take down. Regardless a bein' frightfully inferior to Alternian subterranean fauna, but ewen if it doesn't equally compare, the challenge is the sport of it.

[Yep, Eridan is 100% serious.]

A course, from the looks a it eweryone is stuck on the notion a trainin' 'em and makin' 'em fight each other, an' that's sorta got its appeal, I mean, if you're a fuckin' grub an' such. I think poachin' 'em could prowe far more interestin' than this load a poppycock with the badges an' all. Just sayin'.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't you have better things to do than murdering everything?

Oh wait, I guess that is what you always did! Don't you get bored of doing the same things? You really need better hobbies, Eridan! Or maybe you just suck at everything else that this is the only thing you're good at.

Why get badges that you probably can't even get when you can murder these things!

Murder implies that I'm not talkin' about beasts. You don't murder fauna, you simply hunt them.

Why shouldn't I? I know you're just jealous a my talent in bein' far more lethal than anyone else in our group, so please, for your sake: shut your trap. Also, you know killin' ain't the only thing I'm any good at, because I don't suck at anythin'.

The badges are pointless flashy scraps a metal that serwe no fuckin' purpose at all. I don't see why I should collect them' when anyone could fashion themselwes worthless garbage like that outta ny unattended rubbish bin.

Edited 2013-04-19 03:02 (UTC)

Semantics, Eridan! It's still a kind of murder, let's be honest!

I know you need certain ways to make yourself feel better, but did I ever show being jealous of you ever in my life? Oh wait, I never was! Would you believe that? I am already above you in the cool echeladder, Eridan. You have a looooooong way to go!

And let's be honest! I could name a lot of things you suck at, but I'm going to be really nice to you today and not list them.

You just say that because you can't handle training Pokemon. So you need to murder them instead.

Killin' is happenin', I'll agree to that. But murder makes it sounds far more wicked than it truly is.

Considerin' you're needlessly pickin' at the fact I'm a far better killer than you, I think it speaks for itself. Also, only someone entirely lame would hawe to feel the need to brag about how supposedly "cool" they are, way to prowe how far down on the metaphorical cool echeladder you are, ter.

I bet ewery single thing you list I could disprowe in the beat of a pumpbiscuit anyway. Best if you don't embarrass yourself on the network.

I can handle trainin' just fine. Need I remind you I was the one who trained my own lusus to be my waliant steed? Trainin' is in my blood. I just can't giwe half a shit about these ugly creatures.

You do pretty terrible things!

No one even thinks you're cool, Eridan! Sorry, but it's the truth. Or maybe I should ask everyone else about their opinion of you? Didn't you get most of the humans to not like you even? I can ask them too! [Terezi downright cackles.]

So how are your quadrants going, Eridan? You must be getting everyone you've ever wanted because you don't suck at anything. [She ain't even sorry.]

Well, have fun then. Because you're obviously gonna get far here by killing all of them and not training your own. If you want to waste your time with that, that's fine by me. It's not like you have that many accomplishments to begin with.

Ain't like your ledger's a clean slate either, seer.

You'd basically be askin' those who don't matter one bit to me, anyways. So, if you want to waste your time, by all means do, because I don't giwe a shit.

[He lets out an annoyed sigh.] Of course you'd go for somethin' so petty. A guy isn't allowed to hawe a rough patch in the romance department, it seems. Despite it bein' somethin' totally normal for anyone. Besides, I had two quadrants full before most a your ewen had your first. So, this jab is utterly pointless.

Oh, I don't, do I? And what accomplishments do you hawe? I mean, I guess bein' fooled by the spiderhag durin' FLARP was quite the accomplishment, because who could really beliewe her lies? That takes some kind of talent! I know your accomplishments didn't entail preserwin' the longewity of our race, because that was my accomplishment. Honestly, what hawe you done that could ewen compare to supportin' the life of a entire species.

I mean, if not for me, you wouldn't hawe been able to do anythin' you'we done in your fuckin' life. None of you hawe. So instead a needlessly sassin' me, how about you show some proper appreciation?

They deserved it. [There's a huge difference.]

A rough patch is taking it a little lightly. [You kind of killed Feferi????]

It's not like you didn't get fooled by her too! She used you to help with her shit by pretending to be in a kismesis with her! Last I checked, she ditched you when she got bored of it all. I actually have no idea what you're even implying. There wasn't any fooling getting blinded. She used everyone against me to force me out into the Alternian sun. [But Terezi starts laughing at the thought of Eridan trying to preserve their race.] I'm pretty sure Kanaya would have something to say about preserving our species as a whole! Are you actually that deluded or did something in your thinkpan go wrong?

You didn't help me at all! My lusus taught me my ability to continue living without my ability to see! And last I checked, I'm still alive and doing fine without you "helping" me.

By your perspectiwe. [Hardly a difference, as far as he's concerned.]

It is what it is.

I didn't, though. We had a mutual arrangement, I took the lusii spoils, she took the trolls. I had no use for such trash, so we helped each other. There was no trickery there, Ter. An' her decidin' to split ways--[Which was more so a misunderstanding on his part anyways...]--isn't any a your business. Break ups happen, I don't giwe a shit.

I was talkin' about before I stopped giwin' a shit. Before the game. Man, Ter, you really need to try to keep up with the conwersation, I'm beginnin' to think the sun didn't only burn your eyes, but your pan as well. Because, if not for me feedin' Gl'bgolyb, you'd hawe been dead before you could ewen be taught how to see in the rewoltin' way you do.

You sound kind of defensive for someone who doesn't give a shit!

No one cares! Feferi could feed Gl'bgolyb herself! What type of upcoming heiress wouldn't be able to take care of her own lusus. You just want a reason for us to try and suck up to you!

You'd be dead too anyways, so I hardly find that owing you anything.

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